Unintentionally Praying For A "Reset"
How has it already been almost two months since the last time I have posted??
Time has seriously just flown by!
I knew that I needed to post sometime soon but I guess I didn't realize that it had been so long since I posted last! I dropped the ball on that one.
When I got on today, I saw this post from a month ago that I never posted. It occured to me that some of you (that is if anyone actually reads my blog) may not even know what is happening in my life right now. So here it is.
I recently watched a video about a girl who had hit the "reset" button in her life. She had graduated college. She had tried a couple of different jobs. She eventually realized that she wasn't doing what she loved so she hit the "reset" button.
I knew that I needed to post sometime soon but I guess I didn't realize that it had been so long since I posted last! I dropped the ball on that one.
When I got on today, I saw this post from a month ago that I never posted. It occured to me that some of you (that is if anyone actually reads my blog) may not even know what is happening in my life right now. So here it is.
I recently watched a video about a girl who had hit the "reset" button in her life. She had graduated college. She had tried a couple of different jobs. She eventually realized that she wasn't doing what she loved so she hit the "reset" button.
Well recently, and not necessarily by my own choice, the reset button of my life has been hit.
I had all of these plans. All of these ideas on how I wanted the rest of my life to go, or at least my 20's. And in literally one night everything changed. All of my plans, all of my ideas, they all either disappeared or have been put on hold.
I found myself in bed crying and confused out of my mind. Why was this something I had to go through? Why was this happening right now when I had made all of these plans?
Here I am. Sitting in an airport in Idaho Falls waiting for the plane that's taking me back to Arizona. Away from school. Away from my friends. Away from my brother. Away from all of those plans I had made. And here I find myself having to trust in God more then I probably ever have needed to. At this point, I don't really know what's going to happen. I don't know what I'll being two months from now. Heck, I don't even know what I'll be doing next week. But what I do know is I pray every single day to be able to trust in God. To be able to look for and recognize the blessings that are coming out of this. I pray to be able to learn and grow and become a better version of myself through this.
Well I've been home for almost a month now.
I would like to say that I know now why this had to happen and that I've learned some great lesson because of it. But I haven't.
I started working at my old job again. Started attending my old singles ward again. Started getting back into the Arizona life routine that I have lived before. And maybe that's not what I'm supposed to be doing. But I had a thought recently.
My sister made a comment to me about a week or two ago that I have changed since moving to Idaho. Of course that wasn't news to me. But it got me thinking. Have all the changes I have made in regards to myself and my life been for the best? I'm not saying that moving to Idaho was a mistake or that I have been living some terrible like up there. But maybe it just wasn't where I was needing to be going. So maybe this is just Heavenly Fathers way of correcting me a little bit and putting me back on the path that I need to go. Maybe this is just kind of a pit stop to recharge until I go back to school.
There are so many possibilities of why I am here and not there and what I should be learning and all that jazz. But for now, I am still just trying to get through each day without making myself depressed thinking about all of the things that I am missing out on in Idaho. I know. I have major FOMO (for those who don't know what FOMO means, it stands for Fear Of Missing Out). And maybe that sounds pathetic. And maybe I shouldn't dwell on everything that has happened. But it is hard when a majority of your friends live 700+ miles from you.
Of course I am going to miss all the fun times that I had and all the fun times I could have had in Idaho for these next couple of months. I just keep having to remind myself that this isn't the end of the world. In fact, I will back in Idaho in January. It may seem like it is still MONTHS away, and technically it is, but I know that time will fly by. I still get to talk to my friends after all, and I am already planning on when I can fly up and go see them. And my brother of course. I miss seeing him all the time too. So this isn't the end of the world. It may seem like it at times, but I know that that is just my extra dramatic side coming out.
But like I said in that post from a month ago, I am going to pray for guidance and comfort and direction and just help in general.
Wish me luck.
Well I think I figured out part of my answer.
A few months ago I was talking to a friend about how I felt like such a hypocrite. I told him that I felt like such a hypocrite because I'm always telling people to trust in God's plan for you and that things happen for a reason. Yet I wasn't really believing it myself. I told him about how I felt so stuck because it seemed like everyone around me was moving on with their lives and I was just stuck at this point in my life of being a student. I wanted to just move on to the next point in my life. I didn't even really care what it was. I justed wanted to move on.
Not to move on though. Rather I started praying to trust God more. To trust in his timing. Trust in his plan for me.
That brings us to now.

It's not going to be easy. I know that. It's not going to always be comfortable of fun, life isn't supposed to be all fun. Maybe something life changing is going to happen, or maybe not. I don't know.
Well I've been home for almost a month now.
I would like to say that I know now why this had to happen and that I've learned some great lesson because of it. But I haven't.
I started working at my old job again. Started attending my old singles ward again. Started getting back into the Arizona life routine that I have lived before. And maybe that's not what I'm supposed to be doing. But I had a thought recently.

There are so many possibilities of why I am here and not there and what I should be learning and all that jazz. But for now, I am still just trying to get through each day without making myself depressed thinking about all of the things that I am missing out on in Idaho. I know. I have major FOMO (for those who don't know what FOMO means, it stands for Fear Of Missing Out). And maybe that sounds pathetic. And maybe I shouldn't dwell on everything that has happened. But it is hard when a majority of your friends live 700+ miles from you.
Of course I am going to miss all the fun times that I had and all the fun times I could have had in Idaho for these next couple of months. I just keep having to remind myself that this isn't the end of the world. In fact, I will back in Idaho in January. It may seem like it is still MONTHS away, and technically it is, but I know that time will fly by. I still get to talk to my friends after all, and I am already planning on when I can fly up and go see them. And my brother of course. I miss seeing him all the time too. So this isn't the end of the world. It may seem like it at times, but I know that that is just my extra dramatic side coming out.
But like I said in that post from a month ago, I am going to pray for guidance and comfort and direction and just help in general.
Wish me luck.
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