What I Learned From My Parents Not Getting A Divorce
This is my family.
Well, like I mentioned above, my parents made the decision long before I was born that they would never get a divorce. Divorce was never going to be seen as an option and it just wasn't going to happen.
Unfortunately I know some people, including friends, who have been divorced for one reason or another. I do not know all of their circumstances and reasons for getting divorced, but I do know some people who view divorce as an easy way out when things are getting a little too tough. Even in society today the divorce rate in the United States is about 40 to 50%. While there are so many reasons why couples may get a divorce, it seems like society today tends to look at it as a normal thing that most people will have to go through in their life. I have even heard it said that the first person you marry is just a "trial run" for the next marriage. How sad it is that marriage is viewed as such a casual thing.
Having my parents decision as an example for me has made my faith and desire to find the person that I will someday marry even stronger. I too will someday make this commitment to some one that I truly love and want to spend eternity with. I look at the relationship that they have, and I know that that is what I want in my life. My parents are each others best friends. They take care of each other first and defend each other. When I was in high school, my dad started traveling for his job. I watched as my mom suddenly began this lifestyle of being the only parent home during the week. I thought it was going to be so hard for them. And I think that it is, but what I really saw was my parents love grow and be expressed even more. Even now, I see how excited and happy my mom gets at night when my dad calls her from wherever in the country he happens to be. I see how comfortable and happy they look when they are finally together after a long week. I see how cute they are when they hold hands in the car on the way home from the airport. I don't know if it is because I am older now so I recognize these things more, or because these hard times have made their love for each other grow even more, but I know that my parents love each other so much! Their relationship is definitely what you could call #goals. They are the greatest example to me as how a marriage should be. I am not saying that they are perfect, but I would dare say that they have the strongest marriage out of the couples that I know. I know there have probably been times in their marriage where it has not been easy, but the fact that they are still married now, 29 years later is a testament to me that they are fighters. They are willing to fight and work at marriage, and they are dedicated to not only our family, but one another.
Not only are my parents #goals in their marriage, but also as parents. I already talked about my superhero mother, but as a team, my parents have raised me in a way that I only hope I can replicate with my own children some day. They taught me so much about life, love, religion, and people in general. They taught me to work hard, play hard, consider others feelings, and to serve others. They have taught me to follow the promptings that I receive from the Holy Ghost and trust in the Lord. They have taught me to read my scriptures, pray, attend the temple, and to find good, and to find God in everything.
Growing up we had a copy of The Family: A Proclamation To The World hanging in our home. I read it several times growing up, but it wasn't until this semester in my Eternal Family class that I really learned and started to understand what is being said in this sacred proclamation. I started to compare it to my life growing up, as well as to my goals for my future family. In the proclamation it says,
Occasionally I will think back to that one time in the car when I learned how truly dedicated my parents are to each other. It is amazing to see how much has happened because two people made a commitment long ago that divorce was not going to be their thing. They were going to make it through. And they have. And because of it, because of them, I have a wonderful family that I have been blessed with. I have siblings that have taught me so much. We have had experiences as a family that have helped us all grow spiritually, and emotionally, and now we are starting to grow physically as a family as our numbers increase. I know that I really lucked out in who I got as my family and I wouldn't want anything different.
This is a really good picture of us right?
As you can probably tell, we are a pretty average family. I have a mom and a dad, one brother, two sisters, a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law.
We like watching movies, singing music.....really loud, popcorn, ice cream, and we love watching University of Utah football! We don't always get along, but when we do, let's just say that we think we are pretty hilarious. My family members are my best friends. They are always there for me and I know that they will always be there for me.
When I was younger I never questioned my family or my family dynamic. It wasn't until I was a little bit older that I realized that my family was different. I came to notice that my family was not like most of my friends because of one reason. My parents were married. Growing up a lot of my friends parents had gotten divorced and I started to wonder if the same thing would happen to my family.
I remember one specific night when it was just my parents and I driving home. I asked my parents who would us kids live with if they ever got a divorce. My parents were quick to respond that they would never get divorced. My little mind didn't like this answer and still saw it as a possibility. I pestered them some more and asked, but what if? My parents then explained to me their reasoning on why they were never going to get a divorce. They had decided a long time ago that divorce was never going to be an option. They decided that it wouldn't be something they talked about, joked about, or even thought about. They were just never going to get a divorce. I reluctantly accepted this answer. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized how much their decision impacted my life.
Well, like I mentioned above, my parents made the decision long before I was born that they would never get a divorce. Divorce was never going to be seen as an option and it just wasn't going to happen.
Unfortunately I know some people, including friends, who have been divorced for one reason or another. I do not know all of their circumstances and reasons for getting divorced, but I do know some people who view divorce as an easy way out when things are getting a little too tough. Even in society today the divorce rate in the United States is about 40 to 50%. While there are so many reasons why couples may get a divorce, it seems like society today tends to look at it as a normal thing that most people will have to go through in their life. I have even heard it said that the first person you marry is just a "trial run" for the next marriage. How sad it is that marriage is viewed as such a casual thing.
Having my parents decision as an example for me has made my faith and desire to find the person that I will someday marry even stronger. I too will someday make this commitment to some one that I truly love and want to spend eternity with. I look at the relationship that they have, and I know that that is what I want in my life. My parents are each others best friends. They take care of each other first and defend each other. When I was in high school, my dad started traveling for his job. I watched as my mom suddenly began this lifestyle of being the only parent home during the week. I thought it was going to be so hard for them. And I think that it is, but what I really saw was my parents love grow and be expressed even more. Even now, I see how excited and happy my mom gets at night when my dad calls her from wherever in the country he happens to be. I see how comfortable and happy they look when they are finally together after a long week. I see how cute they are when they hold hands in the car on the way home from the airport. I don't know if it is because I am older now so I recognize these things more, or because these hard times have made their love for each other grow even more, but I know that my parents love each other so much! Their relationship is definitely what you could call #goals. They are the greatest example to me as how a marriage should be. I am not saying that they are perfect, but I would dare say that they have the strongest marriage out of the couples that I know. I know there have probably been times in their marriage where it has not been easy, but the fact that they are still married now, 29 years later is a testament to me that they are fighters. They are willing to fight and work at marriage, and they are dedicated to not only our family, but one another.Not only are my parents #goals in their marriage, but also as parents. I already talked about my superhero mother, but as a team, my parents have raised me in a way that I only hope I can replicate with my own children some day. They taught me so much about life, love, religion, and people in general. They taught me to work hard, play hard, consider others feelings, and to serve others. They have taught me to follow the promptings that I receive from the Holy Ghost and trust in the Lord. They have taught me to read my scriptures, pray, attend the temple, and to find good, and to find God in everything.
Growing up we had a copy of The Family: A Proclamation To The World hanging in our home. I read it several times growing up, but it wasn't until this semester in my Eternal Family class that I really learned and started to understand what is being said in this sacred proclamation. I started to compare it to my life growing up, as well as to my goals for my future family. In the proclamation it says,
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. 'Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives-mothers and fathers-will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor their marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieve when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.Through learning and coming to understand the family and God's plan for families more, and thinking back to my own family this semester, my testimony on the family has grown so much. I know that families are not always perfect, that some people do not grow up in or have ideal family situations, and that there are so many outside forces trying to degrade and destroy families, but through everything I have learned I have come to form my own opinions, beliefs, and understandings of who I need to be and what I need to do for my own family some day as well as the family that I have right now.
Occasionally I will think back to that one time in the car when I learned how truly dedicated my parents are to each other. It is amazing to see how much has happened because two people made a commitment long ago that divorce was not going to be their thing. They were going to make it through. And they have. And because of it, because of them, I have a wonderful family that I have been blessed with. I have siblings that have taught me so much. We have had experiences as a family that have helped us all grow spiritually, and emotionally, and now we are starting to grow physically as a family as our numbers increase. I know that I really lucked out in who I got as my family and I wouldn't want anything different.
LOVE IT!!! Love YOU sam! This was awesome!
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