I Am Blessed With An Imperfect Life!
I have contemplated whether or not I should post this for awhile now. I have started this post like three times now and each time I didn't know how to actually write it. But now I know exactly what I want to say.
I have recently come to the conclusion that nobody's life is perfect.
I know what you are thinking..."gosh Sam thanks for the newsflash! I had no idea!" Yeah I would have said the same thing if someone had come up to me and said that. But I know now that nobody's life is perfect and that is just the way it is! None of us can change that. Want to know why? Because none of us are perfect! It is as simple as that! We are all human and all make mistakes and even though we may not have been the one to make the mistake, others peoples actions and situations affect us too.
I am 18. I just got accepted into the college of my choice. I graduate high school in a few months. I have good grades. My testimony is stronger than it has ever been. I have great friends. I have a great family. So you would think that I would be happy and have nothing to complain about! Yet I feel as if everything is crashing in around me. But not all at once. It's as if the walls are slowing starting to close in on me and the air is getting thin. But I have everything going for me right? I should be happy and laughing and enjoying my time with my friends and family and being a senior right? I should be excited to go college right? Well I am! But at the same time I'm not. Not because of my actions, but of those around me. Or even just stuff that I had no real control over. How was I supposed to know that at 18 years old I would end up with what we think is Carpal Tunnel? Or that I would just sit at my piano and cry because I want to play so bad but it hurts to much to play even with the braces on my wrists? Or that some of my friends would make choices that I don't necessarily agree with? Or even my family members for that reason? How was I supposed to know that all of that would affect me so much? How was I supposed to know that I would pray longer and harder than I have in my entire life? Or that I would spend nights reading my scriptures and writing in my journal and on my knees praying to my Father in Heaven for so long that I am lucky if I get like 5 hours of sleep? How was I supposed to know that my testimony would be tested this much? That's the thing....I didn't know. No one could have known.
Before you go feeling sorry for me, let me contrast that list with a good list.
I am blessed! I have a wonderful family who loves me so much and will always stand by me! I have friends who understand and love me! I am going to school! I have teachers that aren't just teaching me about government, but that are teaching me life lessons! I have the ability to walk home everyday even in the Arizona heat (even though I may not want to at times)! I got into college! I am getting an education! I have a testimony! There are two temples within 30 minutes of my house! I have great church leaders! I have an amazing seminary teacher and class! I have the scriptures! I have a journal! I have the ability to pray! I have a lovely Heavenly Father! I have the gospel! I can see and hear and smell and touch and taste! I am living! I am blessed! I get to wake up every morning and look in my closet and choose what I want to wear today! I have a house! I have food! I have running water! I have air conditioning and a heater! I have my health! I have my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ! So yes, I am blessed! I don't know how I got so lucky! But I did.
I think the hardest thing for me thought has been that I can't fix everyone around me. I didn't know that some of my friends would try to hurt themselves. Or that some would get themselves into situations that will affect them for months. I didn't know that the girl who sits next to me in English would look for her birth mom only to find that she might not end up being what she was hoping she would be. I didn't know that people would turn their backs on others so quickly and so easily. Or that the people I love the most in the world and looked up to would end up making choices that I didn't even see as a possibility for them. I didn't know that people would talk behind others backs about something that they don't know anything about. I didn't know that it would hurt this much. I recently told a close friend that I wish we could just stick people in a box and fix their lives for them and then bring them back out and send them on their way. But even if we could do that, what is stopping them from making those mistakes again? As long as they have their agency, they can do whatever they like. That is what is the hardest.
I don't have some secret plan on how to make everything better overnight. I don't have some amazing influential power on those around me. I can't put them in a box. I can't even make the choices for them. I don't even know how I am still functioning with how little sleep I have gotten and how emotional drained I am. But I do know one thing (and in my opinion this is the plan on how to make everything better, and it's not even a secret). The atonement is real and can help you through anything! It will bring you peace and happiness and it will bring you closer to your Heavenly Father. I think that is one of the reasons I have been volunteering as much as I possibly can at the Gilbert Temple Open House. I love being there and feeling closer to my Father in Heaven. I love seeing those who come in and how the temple has affected their lives just by walking through the temple.
I have seen the Lord's hand in my life. He answers my prayers everyday! Usually it is through ways and/or people that seem to come into my life completely out of the blue, but He is there and He listens and He blesses everybody! I am so grateful for my knowledge of that!
So yes nobody's life is perfect. Not mine. Not yours. And honestly our lives will never be perfect....but I know that what to do and who will help me in my life no matter what. It is my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
I don't know what is going to happen in the future. I don't know how everything will turn out. But let me leave you with a quote from David A Bednar,
You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, “No one understands. No one knows.” No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, succor—literally run to us—and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying upon only our own power.
I have recently come to the conclusion that nobody's life is perfect.
I know what you are thinking..."gosh Sam thanks for the newsflash! I had no idea!" Yeah I would have said the same thing if someone had come up to me and said that. But I know now that nobody's life is perfect and that is just the way it is! None of us can change that. Want to know why? Because none of us are perfect! It is as simple as that! We are all human and all make mistakes and even though we may not have been the one to make the mistake, others peoples actions and situations affect us too.
I am 18. I just got accepted into the college of my choice. I graduate high school in a few months. I have good grades. My testimony is stronger than it has ever been. I have great friends. I have a great family. So you would think that I would be happy and have nothing to complain about! Yet I feel as if everything is crashing in around me. But not all at once. It's as if the walls are slowing starting to close in on me and the air is getting thin. But I have everything going for me right? I should be happy and laughing and enjoying my time with my friends and family and being a senior right? I should be excited to go college right? Well I am! But at the same time I'm not. Not because of my actions, but of those around me. Or even just stuff that I had no real control over. How was I supposed to know that at 18 years old I would end up with what we think is Carpal Tunnel? Or that I would just sit at my piano and cry because I want to play so bad but it hurts to much to play even with the braces on my wrists? Or that some of my friends would make choices that I don't necessarily agree with? Or even my family members for that reason? How was I supposed to know that all of that would affect me so much? How was I supposed to know that I would pray longer and harder than I have in my entire life? Or that I would spend nights reading my scriptures and writing in my journal and on my knees praying to my Father in Heaven for so long that I am lucky if I get like 5 hours of sleep? How was I supposed to know that my testimony would be tested this much? That's the thing....I didn't know. No one could have known.
Before you go feeling sorry for me, let me contrast that list with a good list.
I am blessed! I have a wonderful family who loves me so much and will always stand by me! I have friends who understand and love me! I am going to school! I have teachers that aren't just teaching me about government, but that are teaching me life lessons! I have the ability to walk home everyday even in the Arizona heat (even though I may not want to at times)! I got into college! I am getting an education! I have a testimony! There are two temples within 30 minutes of my house! I have great church leaders! I have an amazing seminary teacher and class! I have the scriptures! I have a journal! I have the ability to pray! I have a lovely Heavenly Father! I have the gospel! I can see and hear and smell and touch and taste! I am living! I am blessed! I get to wake up every morning and look in my closet and choose what I want to wear today! I have a house! I have food! I have running water! I have air conditioning and a heater! I have my health! I have my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ! So yes, I am blessed! I don't know how I got so lucky! But I did.
I think the hardest thing for me thought has been that I can't fix everyone around me. I didn't know that some of my friends would try to hurt themselves. Or that some would get themselves into situations that will affect them for months. I didn't know that the girl who sits next to me in English would look for her birth mom only to find that she might not end up being what she was hoping she would be. I didn't know that people would turn their backs on others so quickly and so easily. Or that the people I love the most in the world and looked up to would end up making choices that I didn't even see as a possibility for them. I didn't know that people would talk behind others backs about something that they don't know anything about. I didn't know that it would hurt this much. I recently told a close friend that I wish we could just stick people in a box and fix their lives for them and then bring them back out and send them on their way. But even if we could do that, what is stopping them from making those mistakes again? As long as they have their agency, they can do whatever they like. That is what is the hardest.
I don't have some secret plan on how to make everything better overnight. I don't have some amazing influential power on those around me. I can't put them in a box. I can't even make the choices for them. I don't even know how I am still functioning with how little sleep I have gotten and how emotional drained I am. But I do know one thing (and in my opinion this is the plan on how to make everything better, and it's not even a secret). The atonement is real and can help you through anything! It will bring you peace and happiness and it will bring you closer to your Heavenly Father. I think that is one of the reasons I have been volunteering as much as I possibly can at the Gilbert Temple Open House. I love being there and feeling closer to my Father in Heaven. I love seeing those who come in and how the temple has affected their lives just by walking through the temple.
I have seen the Lord's hand in my life. He answers my prayers everyday! Usually it is through ways and/or people that seem to come into my life completely out of the blue, but He is there and He listens and He blesses everybody! I am so grateful for my knowledge of that!
So yes nobody's life is perfect. Not mine. Not yours. And honestly our lives will never be perfect....but I know that what to do and who will help me in my life no matter what. It is my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
I don't know what is going to happen in the future. I don't know how everything will turn out. But let me leave you with a quote from David A Bednar,
You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, “No one understands. No one knows.” No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, succor—literally run to us—and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying upon only our own power.
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