The Truth About Me



I know I am not the prettiest girl. I know I am not the skinniest/most fit girl. I know I am not the best singer. I know I am not the smartest. I know I am not the best cook. I know I am not the most stylish. I know I am not the most spiritual. I know all of this. And it took me a long time to be okay with this.

For a majority of my life I have struggled with my self worth. I felt inadequate, stupid, like an outsider, and ugly. It's sad but it's true. I compared myself to so many other girls! I would look at them and see their best qualities, and compare them to my worst qualities. I did this for years! It wasn't until I hit high school that I changed the way I looked at myself and others. The problem was, the way I looked at myself and others now was not much better. 

When I was in high school I started picking people apart. I would look at someone and think "well at least I don't have a big nose like her" or "her hair is not cute at all I can't believe she would do that to herself!" I thought that I would feel better about myself doing this. But I didn't. In fact, I felt worse about myself. And I didn't know why. 

The summer before senior year I decided to make some necessary changes. I wasn't going to leave high school being this girl. I was going to change. 

And I did. 

That summer I started to look at myself in a whole new light. I began to realize that my self worth was not dependent on the clothes that I wore or the comments that I made in class. It didn't come from putting other people down. I learned that my self worth came from the way I viewed myself, and not the way other people viewed me. So, I stopped caring. I stopped caring if other people thought I looked good, but rather if I felt good in what I was wearing. I stopped trying to come up with comments in seminary that I thought other people would be impressed by and started listening to the prompting of the spirit more. But that wasn't the only thing I was going to change. 

I realized that the way I had felt about myself for so long was something that I didn't want for anyone else! I wanted other people to know how amazing they are too! I made an effort to talk to people I might not normally talk too. I started complimenting people more (not just to give compliments, but because I believe that getting compliments is one of the biggest confidence boosters. So if I like someone's shirt, I am going to tell them because chances are they will want to wear it again). I included people in conversations and activities that maybe they wouldn't normally be part of. I had spent so many years feeling left out. I had felt unwanted and alone. I had felt like I was someone that people were friends with at school,but not someone you would invite to hang out with during the weekend. I did not want others to feel like that too. I was going to try and help other people know of their self worth. 

That was really how I found mine. 

Like I said at the beginning, I know I am not the prettiest girl. I know I am not the skinniest/most fit girl. I know I am not the best singer. I know I am not the smartest. I know I am not the best cook. I know I am not the most stylish. I know I am not the most spiritual. 

But I do know this. 

I like the color of my eyes. I like to sing. I like to read. I like to dance even when I look stupid doing it. I like cooking. I love my freckles. I like watermelon. I Iike how the color blue makes my eyes pop. I like writing in my journal. I like watching movies. I like eating ketchup with my scrambled eggs. I love playing the piano. I love laughing! I like watching sunsets. I like blogging. I like the way I feel when I'm out in nature. I like taking really long showers. I like a really good steak. I love music that speaks to my soul. I like meeting new people. I like dogs. I love inspirational quotes. I like sleeping. I like watching YouTube videos. I like a lot of things. But most of all, I like these things about myself. 

It took me awhile to understand that my worth, the way I feel about myself, doesn't come from how other people view me. It comes from how I view myself. It comes from my knowledge that I am the daughter of not only two amazing parents, but a Heavenly Father who loves me! 

So this is my plea for you. 

Please do not forget how amazing you are! Please know that you have amazing qualities and that you are unique and beautiful! Please know that your self worth is not going to increase by putting others down, but by helping to build them up. And please know that you have a father in heaven who loves you so much! 

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