The Things I Should Be Saying
I keep this list of blog post ideas on my phone. I find myself adding to it quite frequently but hardly ever actually writing posts based on them. It's not that I come up with new ideas or anything, I just feel like I'm being hypocritical when I go to write them. I start typing and everything I am saying seems so forced and based on how I felt at another time in my life. It's the words that I should be saying but at the moment don't want to actually put out there in the universe.
I should be saying that you need to be strong and not let others drag you down. I should be saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that you might not be able to see right now but it will come. I should be saying that by working through your struggles and hard times you will in turn become stronger. I should be saying that you should be selfless not selfish. I should be saying that the happiest people find that the world does not revolve around them. I should be saying that you will find answers to your prayers when you exercise honest and sincere faith, service and patience. I should be saying all of that...but I'm not.
I would feel hypocritical!
There are some many times where I want to run into my room, lock the door, and just cry. And there are many times that I have. There are many times that I find that even though I'm praying and praying, the answers just don't seem to be coming. There are so many times when I find myself all wrapped up in me and I feel like the happiest I could ever be. There are so many times in that dark tunnel of struggle that I just want to sit down on the side of the road and wait for someone to pick me up and carry me instead of trying to push through. There are so many times where I have let someone else words, actions, attitude, etc effect me and drag me down. I should be saying that none of that happens anymore because I have learned from my mistakes. But I'm not. I'm human. I will make mistakes over and over and over and each time I will learn. I will grow stronger. But I will never stop making mistakes.
I will break down and cry. I will slam the door. I will experience those "Taylor Swift Moments" from one of her many songs. They will all happen. But there will be times, hopefully quite often, where I laugh. Where I dance, sing, smile, and just experience joy. Like real joy. The kind of joy you see in the old couple that sits next to each other at a park just holding hands and smiling. The kind of joy you see in the little kids running around the park stomping on the leaves in the fall. The kind of joy you see in the new parents faces when they hold their little baby for the very first time.
There are so many things I could and probably should be saying. Things that might change someones life. Things that maybe you agree with or even disagree with. Things that maybe six people will actually ever read. Yet there is still the ever growing list of things to write about on my phone and maybe someday I will actually write about them but for today...I won't.
I should be saying that you need to be strong and not let others drag you down. I should be saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that you might not be able to see right now but it will come. I should be saying that by working through your struggles and hard times you will in turn become stronger. I should be saying that you should be selfless not selfish. I should be saying that the happiest people find that the world does not revolve around them. I should be saying that you will find answers to your prayers when you exercise honest and sincere faith, service and patience. I should be saying all of that...but I'm not.
I would feel hypocritical!
There are some many times where I want to run into my room, lock the door, and just cry. And there are many times that I have. There are many times that I find that even though I'm praying and praying, the answers just don't seem to be coming. There are so many times when I find myself all wrapped up in me and I feel like the happiest I could ever be. There are so many times in that dark tunnel of struggle that I just want to sit down on the side of the road and wait for someone to pick me up and carry me instead of trying to push through. There are so many times where I have let someone else words, actions, attitude, etc effect me and drag me down. I should be saying that none of that happens anymore because I have learned from my mistakes. But I'm not. I'm human. I will make mistakes over and over and over and each time I will learn. I will grow stronger. But I will never stop making mistakes.
I will break down and cry. I will slam the door. I will experience those "Taylor Swift Moments" from one of her many songs. They will all happen. But there will be times, hopefully quite often, where I laugh. Where I dance, sing, smile, and just experience joy. Like real joy. The kind of joy you see in the old couple that sits next to each other at a park just holding hands and smiling. The kind of joy you see in the little kids running around the park stomping on the leaves in the fall. The kind of joy you see in the new parents faces when they hold their little baby for the very first time.
There are so many things I could and probably should be saying. Things that might change someones life. Things that maybe you agree with or even disagree with. Things that maybe six people will actually ever read. Yet there is still the ever growing list of things to write about on my phone and maybe someday I will actually write about them but for today...I won't.
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