Have I Mentioned That I Hate Change?
Recently I was going through the notes that I have on my phone. There's the usually things and the random things. Grocery list. Funny things my best friend and I have said. A list of all 50 states with very few with check mark next to them (I want to visit all 50 states before I die). And one note page that is filled with notes that I had taken during a Regional Conference from about 2 1/2 months ago when I was still in Idaho.
I knew I had those notes and I remember the great talks that were given by Elder Brent H. Nielsen, Sister Neill F. Marriott, and Elder L. Tom Perry. Thinking back I remember sitting in the BYU-Idaho I-Center with my roommates and watching the Conference broadcasted to us from somewhere else in Idaho, but feeling like I might as well had been sitting in the same chapel as these amazing leaders and disciples of Christ. I took quite a few notes during the Conference, and I've opened them a couple of times since, but I had forgotten that I wrote myself a "note" at the end of Elder Brent H. Nielsen's talk. (Let me add here that if you have never heard either of the three people mentioned speak before, you definitely should go look up some of the talks they have given throughout the years). Elder Nielsen spoke about change and it really hit home for me. I really came to a conclusion, or I guess received revelation about myself during his talk. This is what the note says.
I don't like change. In fact, it scares me. But recently I realized that I don't like it when things around me change. I fight change and I refuse to move and it becomes uncomfortable and I don't like it. But maybe that is why it is uncomfortable. Because I try to fight it. But sometimes I wake up and realize that slowly bit by bit I have changed. I guess it has happened more then once. It wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, I didn't hate it at all. Because I was the one changing so I wasn't fighting it. I was letting the natural process of change come into my life and I was willing, letting it take me where it needed to take me.
Looking back at this, I realize that first it may not make sense to someone who is reading it and who isn't me, but I also realize how much truth is in that paragraph. If you know me, or if you have read some of my other posts, you know how much I REALLY do not like change. Now I have an idea why. I like things my way. I like normal and comfortable and when things are not my idea, when things are changed without my consent or my knowledge, I get stressed and uncomfortable and I hate it. But there are times, when I do like change. I just didn't realize it was really change until that Sunday morning while I was sitting in Idaho. I didn't realize how much I have actually changed because it wasn't stressful or uncomfortable because the things that had changed where my own decisions. They were things that I had, I have control over. So, yes. I like change. I have changed. I've changed a LOT in the past year. Heck, I've changed a lot in the past 5 months. But I don't hate change. I still am not a huge fan of things changing that are out of my control, but I am learning to not fight it as much and to trust in the Lord. But that is a post for another time.
I knew I had those notes and I remember the great talks that were given by Elder Brent H. Nielsen, Sister Neill F. Marriott, and Elder L. Tom Perry. Thinking back I remember sitting in the BYU-Idaho I-Center with my roommates and watching the Conference broadcasted to us from somewhere else in Idaho, but feeling like I might as well had been sitting in the same chapel as these amazing leaders and disciples of Christ. I took quite a few notes during the Conference, and I've opened them a couple of times since, but I had forgotten that I wrote myself a "note" at the end of Elder Brent H. Nielsen's talk. (Let me add here that if you have never heard either of the three people mentioned speak before, you definitely should go look up some of the talks they have given throughout the years). Elder Nielsen spoke about change and it really hit home for me. I really came to a conclusion, or I guess received revelation about myself during his talk. This is what the note says.
I don't like change. In fact, it scares me. But recently I realized that I don't like it when things around me change. I fight change and I refuse to move and it becomes uncomfortable and I don't like it. But maybe that is why it is uncomfortable. Because I try to fight it. But sometimes I wake up and realize that slowly bit by bit I have changed. I guess it has happened more then once. It wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, I didn't hate it at all. Because I was the one changing so I wasn't fighting it. I was letting the natural process of change come into my life and I was willing, letting it take me where it needed to take me.
Looking back at this, I realize that first it may not make sense to someone who is reading it and who isn't me, but I also realize how much truth is in that paragraph. If you know me, or if you have read some of my other posts, you know how much I REALLY do not like change. Now I have an idea why. I like things my way. I like normal and comfortable and when things are not my idea, when things are changed without my consent or my knowledge, I get stressed and uncomfortable and I hate it. But there are times, when I do like change. I just didn't realize it was really change until that Sunday morning while I was sitting in Idaho. I didn't realize how much I have actually changed because it wasn't stressful or uncomfortable because the things that had changed where my own decisions. They were things that I had, I have control over. So, yes. I like change. I have changed. I've changed a LOT in the past year. Heck, I've changed a lot in the past 5 months. But I don't hate change. I still am not a huge fan of things changing that are out of my control, but I am learning to not fight it as much and to trust in the Lord. But that is a post for another time.
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