Hi My Name Is Sam And I Have A Confession
Wow, it has been a while since I posted anything! I want to give you guys an update on my life and talk about something that has been on my mind a LOT this past week. For anyone who may be new to my blog though, let me just by saying hi. My name is Sam. And I have a confession. As you will discover in this post, I only care about myself.
I've been trying to write a very specific blog post for about a year now. It was one that I thought I was writing for everyone else, but the more I wrote, the more it seemed to be for me. And then the farther that we got into 2018, the more I felt like had happened in my life to really bring that blog post to a close. But I could never finish it. I could never find the right words to describe things. I couldn't find the right transitions, or it just felt like it was too all over the place. This post was supposed to be about how I had all this really crappy and hard stuff happen within the past year, but how I overcame my tough times, and you can too! It was supposed to bring hope and light. But I was just never satisfied with what I had written.
And then something happened.
I had a really hard reality check. It started when a friend made a comment to me that really made me question what other people think of me.
Now I'm not one to really worry about if every single person likes me, because I know that's just asking for the impossible. But that comment has honestly kept me up at night, and you know what it made me realize? It made me realize how much I need to fix in my life. It made me realize how much I have been faking it. Don't get me wrong, that comment freaking hurt, and my initial reaction was to tell them they were wrong about me, but I don't think they really were. The more I have been thinking about and reflecting on my 23 years of life, the more I realize how much of it has been focused on myself. I even noticed how much "service" I actually had done for selfish reasons throughout my life. Everything seemed to somehow revolve around me. *insert facepalm emoji here* I mean come on! Just look at my last Instagram photo! It's literally just a picture of me!!
This reflecting had actually started to break down my self-confidence. I felt more angry, ashamed, and just plain disappointed in myself than I had in years. I could honestly go on and on with the list of things that I have picked apart about myself since that comment was made to me, but in the end, that is not the point of this.
The point is this.
We are all human! We will all make mistakes! But we were not meant to be perfect! We should strive for perfection, but it is so important for us to remember that we will make mistakes! And that is okay! I was never made to be perfect. Instead, I was made to live. And living means that mistakes will be made. It means that I am actually human, despite what my siblings may say, and it means that I should always to strive after perfection. Matthew 5:48 says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." It doesn't say that I have to be perfect now! It's my personal opinion and belief that this is meant to be a reminder to always be living towards perfection.
Please do not think that I am not trying to make excuses for the way that I have been acting or trying to say that people should remember that I am only human and shouldn't judge me for that. What I am saying is that within myself, I have come to a conclusion about what I need to do and remember for myself.
So I have a lot to learn. I have things I need to change about my life for sure. But, as long as I am striving to like Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father, it will all be okay. Even when I make mistakes. It is my belief that I can be forgiven of my mistakes and sins and I can grow and learn from them. Through Him, I can one day be made perfect! Not now of course, but someday. And that is enough for me.
Man, I did not think I was going to go on a religious tangent here, but it happened. It's real. It's what has been going on in my life. Some may even say that me putting this out in the world is a selfish act, but I wanted to let you guys know of the things happening in my lives recently. So yeah maybe that makes me selfish...right now. Some may say that I wrote this so that I could fish for compliments to try to make myself feel better, but that is also not it. I really wanted to just let you guys know what has been going on.
So, to close this out, hi. My name is Sam. And I have a confession. I only care about myself, but I am really striving to be better. To truly put others before me, forget about myself, and to be a better person overall.
I've been trying to write a very specific blog post for about a year now. It was one that I thought I was writing for everyone else, but the more I wrote, the more it seemed to be for me. And then the farther that we got into 2018, the more I felt like had happened in my life to really bring that blog post to a close. But I could never finish it. I could never find the right words to describe things. I couldn't find the right transitions, or it just felt like it was too all over the place. This post was supposed to be about how I had all this really crappy and hard stuff happen within the past year, but how I overcame my tough times, and you can too! It was supposed to bring hope and light. But I was just never satisfied with what I had written.
And then something happened.
I had a really hard reality check. It started when a friend made a comment to me that really made me question what other people think of me.
Now I'm not one to really worry about if every single person likes me, because I know that's just asking for the impossible. But that comment has honestly kept me up at night, and you know what it made me realize? It made me realize how much I need to fix in my life. It made me realize how much I have been faking it. Don't get me wrong, that comment freaking hurt, and my initial reaction was to tell them they were wrong about me, but I don't think they really were. The more I have been thinking about and reflecting on my 23 years of life, the more I realize how much of it has been focused on myself. I even noticed how much "service" I actually had done for selfish reasons throughout my life. Everything seemed to somehow revolve around me. *insert facepalm emoji here* I mean come on! Just look at my last Instagram photo! It's literally just a picture of me!!
This reflecting had actually started to break down my self-confidence. I felt more angry, ashamed, and just plain disappointed in myself than I had in years. I could honestly go on and on with the list of things that I have picked apart about myself since that comment was made to me, but in the end, that is not the point of this.
The point is this.
We are all human! We will all make mistakes! But we were not meant to be perfect! We should strive for perfection, but it is so important for us to remember that we will make mistakes! And that is okay! I was never made to be perfect. Instead, I was made to live. And living means that mistakes will be made. It means that I am actually human, despite what my siblings may say, and it means that I should always to strive after perfection. Matthew 5:48 says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." It doesn't say that I have to be perfect now! It's my personal opinion and belief that this is meant to be a reminder to always be living towards perfection.
Please do not think that I am not trying to make excuses for the way that I have been acting or trying to say that people should remember that I am only human and shouldn't judge me for that. What I am saying is that within myself, I have come to a conclusion about what I need to do and remember for myself.
So I have a lot to learn. I have things I need to change about my life for sure. But, as long as I am striving to like Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father, it will all be okay. Even when I make mistakes. It is my belief that I can be forgiven of my mistakes and sins and I can grow and learn from them. Through Him, I can one day be made perfect! Not now of course, but someday. And that is enough for me.
Man, I did not think I was going to go on a religious tangent here, but it happened. It's real. It's what has been going on in my life. Some may even say that me putting this out in the world is a selfish act, but I wanted to let you guys know of the things happening in my lives recently. So yeah maybe that makes me selfish...right now. Some may say that I wrote this so that I could fish for compliments to try to make myself feel better, but that is also not it. I really wanted to just let you guys know what has been going on.
So, to close this out, hi. My name is Sam. And I have a confession. I only care about myself, but I am really striving to be better. To truly put others before me, forget about myself, and to be a better person overall.
And just because I love them so much, here is a picture of my people.
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