I Will Not Settle
I used to worry about someday being married and having a family. It's probably not for the reasons you think either. I used to worry about these things in association with religion. Let me tell you why.
There are certain things that I always have and always will want in the person that I marry and the future family that we will raise. I want to marry someone of the same faith, and in the temple. I want to raise my family in the gospel. Those are things that I want. But there are things that I have always worried about in terms of raising my family in the gospel.
I have ideas of how I want to teach my kids and raise them in the gospel, but I always worried about how my husband would be. I would worry about whether he would think I was crazy or stupid for doing certain things. I worried that he wouldn't agree with how I did things or just that I would feel stupid in the end because maybe I don't have a "higher" knowledge of the gospel then maybe he has. But now I realize that if that is what I would be getting, then that is not what I want.
I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out, but I have a choice. I get to choose to marry a certain guy or not. And you know what? If he is someone that does make me feel stupid for my love, my passion, my enthusiasm for the gospel and the things that I already know that I want to do in regards to raising my family, then he is not the one for me! He is not the kind of guy I want!
A little over four months ago, I had a friend ask me what I look for in a future husband. I said that I want a guy that honors his priesthood. While that is still true, there is more now that I really want then I thought even those few short months ago. I want someone who will be just as passionate and enthusiastic about the gospel and raising our children in it as I am! I want someone who will support me and help me in striving to live and teach the gospel and not judge me or make me feel like less then I am!
I will not settle for less then I know that I want and deserve. I will not marry someone who makes me feel like less of a person. I will marry someone who makes me feel like a better person. Who loves the gospel as much, if not more, then I do. I will not settle.
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